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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469524">and i’m still trying to find you (through sunshine or rain)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiasfate/pseuds/leiasfate'>leiasfate</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Post Part 3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:34:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiasfate/pseuds/leiasfate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re not bothering me, Nick. I know we’ve fought before, but we’re friends, right?” Saying those words made her feel cold all over.</p>
<p>“We...” Oh, Nick was stepping closer towards her. “I don’t know if we can be.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nicholas Scratch/Sabrina Spellman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>151</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and i’m still trying to find you (through sunshine or rain)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Three weeks.</span>
</p>
<p>Three weeks after time traveling and preventing the end of the world, Sabrina Spellman finally felt that everything was okay. There had been no threats to Greendale, or to her friends, and her family was closer than ever. It seemed like everything was perfect.</p>
<p>Except it wasn’t.</p>
<p>
  <span>When she did the candle spell to forget about Nick, it had worked, she didn’t feel any kind of emotion towards him anymore. Until she saw him dead, turned into a statue, and all of her love came rushing back, almost drowning her. She’d had to tear her eyes away from his lifeless form in order to keep going with the mission.</span>
</p>
<p>Sabrina hadn’t seen him ever since saving the town, but she had thought about him every single day. It hurt that they weren’t together, it hurt that she still loved him and couldn’t do anything about it. A rational part of her knew that he had been right to call it quits, because he needed to come to terms with what had happened to him. But another part of her, the one blinded by love, just wanted to be beside him.</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If I kiss you, Spellman, I’ll never be able to walk away.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What would’ve happened if Nick had actually kissed her? They wouldn’t have broken up, surely, but would that have been good? Or would it have led her boyfriend down a path of more self deprecation and sadness? She knew it wasn’t good to dwell on what could’ve been, but she just couldn’t stop thinking about the moment he let go of her hand and walked away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was also the problem of her doppelgänger. Ambrose had managed to get into her head and she was worried that the timeline would collapse at any moment. She was on edge, heart racing at any suspicious sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like how the young witch immediately jumped from the bed the moment she heard the telephone beside her ring.</span>
</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“Sabrina.”</p>
<p>She frowned. “Dorian? How do you have my number?”</p>
<p>“That isn’t important right now.” There was a piano playing. “I’m calling to ask you for a favor.”</p>
<p>
  <span>“Which is?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone in the background started singing.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “I want you to notice... when I'm not around”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“Wait... is that Nick?”</p>
<p>Dorian sighed. “Yes, I’m afraid so. Darling Nicky has been singing that song for weeks now, every night. And as much as I enjoy his beautiful voice, he’s driving my clients away. It’s not even fun because he does not drink, he only sits there and sulks.”</p>
<p>Sabrina felt her heart shattering with the revelation that Nicholas wasn’t okay. She thought he would sort himself out, but oh, she’d been wrong. And she hadn’t been there to help him.</p>
<p>She swallowed the knot on her throat. “I’ll be right there.”</p>
<p>
  <span>Since she didn’t have to recite spells anymore,  the girl just teleported to Dorian’s bar. And surely, Nick was there, playing the piano and singing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“She’s running out the door</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She’s running</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She run, run, run, run</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Run”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>She stepped closer towards him, and noticed how tired he looked. He had bags under his eyes, hair disheveled. From her position, she could tell he was trying to stop his hands from shaking. He hadn’t even noticed her presence behind him.</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Whatever makes you happy...” </span>
  </em>
  <span>His voice sounded small. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Whatever you want...”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears burned in her eyes, so she finally made her presence known by placing a hand on his shoulder. Instantly, he stopped playing.</span>
</p>
<p>“Sabrina...” Nick said her name like he was drowning, but didn’t lift his eyes to look at her. “I guess Dorian is annoyed of listening to me, huh?”</p>
<p>“Are...” She couldn’t find her voice. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” He smiled, but it was clearly fake, and she almost wanted to call him out on it.</p>
<p>“Maybe, um, I could walk you back to the Academy?”</p>
<p>The warlock just nodded, getting up from his seat and falling into step beside her. His feet dragged on the floor, like he had no energy and was about to collapse. She had to do something.</p>
<p>“Actually, is it okay if I teleport you to your room?” Sabrina spoke softly, afraid that even the tone of her voice could make him flinch.</p>
<p>He nodded again, and in the blink of an eye, they were in his room. Her heart dropped as she remembered what had happened the last time she’d been there.</p>
<p>Sabrina missed him, loved him. She couldn’t bear to see him and not be able to gather him into her arms. Heaven, if only she could...</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Dorian called you.” Nick interrupted her train of thought.</p>
<p>“No! No, don’t apologize.” She stopped her hand from reaching out to his. “He was just worried about you. You look like you haven’t slept in days.”</p>
<p>“I just...” He finally gazed into her eyes. “I didn’t mean to bother you, Sabrina. I promise you it won’t happen again.”</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not bothering me, Nick. I know we’ve fought before, but we’re friends, right?” Saying those words made her feel cold all over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We...” Oh, Nick was stepping closer towards her. “I don’t know if we can be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What? Hadn’t he been the one to suggest friendship first? She needed him in her life, at least as a friend.</span>
</p>
<p>“Why?” Sabrina hated the way her voice broke as she asked.</p>
<p>“Because I spend every waking moment thinking about you, and I can’t stop.”</p>
<p>She had always loved how Nicholas’ emotions were always clear, how he always opened up to her. In his eyes, she could only see sadness, love, and regret. She only hoped he could see she felt the same way.</p>
<p>
  <span>The angel-witch broke the invisible barrier between them by invading his personal space, hand going up to caress his cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>“Nicholas.” His breath hitched. “I can’t stop thinking about you either, you know? Please tell me you know that.”</p>
<p>He closed his eyes and leaned against her touch before opening them again. “Can’t you see that I’m not good for you? That you deserve better? You’re better of without me.”</p>
<p>
  <span>Anger fleetingly ran through her. Sabrina was tired of people who thought they knew what was best for her, but she was aware his words came out of his own self-doubt. They had tried being apart so that he could heal, but it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t working. Maybe it was time to try another way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m the only one who can choose what’s good for me, Nick. And I’ve chosen </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, always. I know I can help you, if you let me. We can heal together, we don’t have to suffer anymore. Please, let me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath, and finally reached out to touch her. “You have no idea how much I want to, Spellman.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Spellman.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It sounded like music to her ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Nicholas Scratch. No matter what you’ve done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.” A choked sob left his mouth. “So much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As her heart soared, she leaned forward. “Then kiss me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nick kissed her like the world was ending, lips pressing hard against hers. He was desperate, hands holding her tightly. She gave as much as she got, tears streaming down her cheeks as she poured all of her love into the kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Spellman...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wiped his tears with her thumb. “I’m here, Nick. It’ll be okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>Sabrina had lost him twice already, and she wasn’t up for a third. </p>
<p>She wouldn’t let go of him ever again.</p>
<p> </p>
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